Spring Into Connection: How To Cultivate Emotional Intimacy Early Dating
If you're dating or in the early stages of a relationship, making the shift from surface-level small talk to something deeper is key to building a connection that lasts. Emotional connection isn’t built through witty banter via text or polished first impressions. It’s built through presence, honesty, curiosity, silliness, and shared experience.
While I’m all for organically letting a connection unfold, you can create opportunities to develop a deep connection in the early stages of dating and in new relationships.
Keep reading for low-pressure ways to deepen emotional intimacy without forcing anything or moving too fast. Whether you're exploring a new spark or you’re nurturing something that’s just starting to grow, these tips will help you connect with more intention.
7 Ways To Build Emotional Intimacy
- Explore each other's interests.
Trying something your date genuinely loves, even if it’s new to you, shows curiosity and builds emotional intimacy through shared experience.
If it’s something out of your comfort zone or something you otherwise wouldn’t have looked into, trust that the person you’re with will greatly appreciate you showing up anyway. It also creates opportunities to see each other in your natural element. You’ll learn more from participating with your sweetie in their favorite hobby than from a dozen surface-level conversations about it.
Of course, this goes both ways! Make sure to introduce the person you’re dating to your interests and hobbies as well, no matter how niche they are.
Try this: Next time they geek out about something, organize a date around it.
- Get deeper by asking off-the-beaten-track questions.
Maybe you already know how many siblings they have and what their family does during the holidays, but what about what they secretly wish people knew about them? Or what was the last kind thing they did for someone? These are the kinds of questions you can find in {THE AND} Strangers Edition question card deck, which is my favorite.
When you move beyond the typical first-date scripts and ask questions that reveal values, desires, and memories, emotional intimacy grows. A deeper connection develops when people feel seen and heard for who they are, not just what they do.
Try this: Grab a question card deck from {THE AND} and take a few cards on your next date. Take turns drawing them and see where the conversation takes you.
- Don’t be afraid to get vulnerable.
Emotional intimacy requires truth and vulnerability, especially in early dating when the instinct is to present a put-together version of yourself. Vulnerability doesn’t mean oversharing; it means being clear, open, and brave enough to be real.
For example, being vulnerable can look like sharing what’s been on your mind that day during a date, or sharing that you were nervous on the way to the bar, or sharing that you were so excited for the date that you couldn’t focus on work.
Obviously, honesty is key here. Don’t manufacture vulnerability and share things that aren’t accurate to fake closeness. What counts is being real and open enough to show your real self.
Try this: Share a moment of vulnerability on your next date, like admitting when you’re nervous, uncertain, or excited.
- Practice active listening.
On the other side of sharing and being vulnerable is listening. A big mistake people make during dates is just waiting for their turn to talk or thinking about what they’ll say next while the other person is talking.
Instead, try to be present and take in what they’re saying. You don’t need to have the perfect response ready to go. Reflect what they say, ask follow-up questions, and resist the urge to fix or impress. Emotional connection deepens when someone feels heard, understood and like they have space to share.
Try this: After they share something personal, say something like, “That makes sense. How did that experience shape you?”
- Get out of your comfort zone with something new!
Emotional intimacy doesn’t always have to be deep talks and serious vibes. Sometimes, the best way to build intimacy is through pure, silly fun. That’s where Kidulting comes in. It’s a playful card deck designed to help adults reconnect with joy, spontaneity, and each other.
With two unique decks, you and your date take turns drawing cards with creative prompts that spark unexpected moments of connection. It's the kind of activity that reminds you how good it feels to just play.
Try this: Set up a cozy, distraction-free space at home. Grab your Kidulting deck and alternate drawing cards. Follow the prompts, stay open, and see where the night takes you, whether that’s 30 minutes of fun or a whole weekend challenge.
- Ask for advice, a recommendation or favor.
My favorite way to build an emotional connection is by asking them for something, then following up on it. For example, tell them you’re in a reading or podcast rut and ask for their recommendations. Ask them to help you choose a gift for someone. Tell them about a work issue you’re facing and let them take a stab at advising you.
Letting someone help you builds closeness. It signals trust and gives them a small way to contribute to your world.
Try this: Ask them something like, “I’m excited to wind down after work. What’s your go-to TV show for unwinding?”
- Don’t just do drinks and dinner dates.
After the first date, any creative date idea is fair game. And getting out of the dinner/drinks routine will help you create more memorable moments that foster deeper emotional intimacy.
Environments with movement, creativity, or collaboration lead to better conversations and more authentic moments. Plus, you learn more from how someone acts in life than sitting at the booth in the corner of a restaurant.
A memorable date doesn’t have to be fancy. If you’re on a budget, there are still so many creative ideas to try!
Try this: Go to an escape room and see how you fare when you need to work as a team.
It takes curiosity, presence, and a willingness to let someone really see you. These early moments in dating or a new relationship are the foundation of whatever comes next. You don’t need to force deep talks or turn every date into a vulnerability hour, but you do need to show up with openness in your mind and heart to make room for the emotional connection you crave.
Small shifts, like asking better questions, trying something new together, or being honest about your feelings, can lead to big breakthroughs in connection. So this spring, forget the scripts and get a little more real. The right connection will meet you there.
by Talia Koren
Talia is a dating coach and host of Dating Intentionally, a top-rated podcast that helps people approach modern dating with clarity, confidence, and strategy. With years of experience creating content around relationships and intentional dating, she’s known for cutting through the noise and offering practical advice that actually works. Her work has helped thousands of daters navigate apps, build better connections, and date with purpose.
