I Wrote a Letter to My Depression, And It Changed Everything
I once wrote a letter to my depression. I gave her a name, a voice, and, for the first time, compassion. That’s where my healing began.
In honor of World Mental Health Day, I want to share a letter I wrote to my depression during one of the hardest moments of my life.
This letter changed everything for me. It helped me see her in a different light, to give her a personality, needs, and flaws that made her human, and in doing so, helped me find compassion and forgiveness. That compassion became the beginning of my healing.
I’m not “fully healed” (I’m not sure anyone ever truly is), but I’m doing much better now. I haven’t faced a serious crisis in over a year, and that’s something I’m really proud of.
I originally wrote this letter in Spanish, my mother tongue, but here’s my translation:
“Dear Depression,
You’ve been with me for quite a while now, so long that I’ve gotten used to having you by my side. I know you’re lonely, and that you need others to survive. In that way, we’re similar. My vitality is connected to others’, and I’m not sure if that’s a good or bad thing, it’s just how things are.
Addressing you as if you’re a person makes me terribly sad, because it means opening my arms and letting you go. I don’t want to leave you alone. I don’t like anyone feeling alone. I’m not ready to say goodbye yet; you’re still too dependent on me. It feels like my responsibility to care for you, to keep you company.
But eventually, I will have to let you go, so you can find yourself, so you can stop being so sad. It hurts me that you’re so sad.
I don’t understand why I’m so fond of you, or why I pity your loneliness. I can imagine it must be hard, being born to be undesirable, a burden to people.
I think of you as a dear friend who knows all my deepest, darkest fears. Someone who walks through them with me. I can imagine you here, with me, clenching hands in frustration…”
Every time I reread this letter, even years later, I cry. I’m still amazed at the compassion I was able to find for something that made me feel so small, so broken. I’m amazed at how deeply I could understand my pain, and still meet it with love.
Years later, when I met my husband, Ian, I felt something different. He saw my depression the same way I did, not as something to be fixed, but as something to be cared for.
One night, unable to sleep, I imagined the two of us tucking my depression into bed. In the quiet darkness, I could see it: a soft candlelight, a small figure under the covers, both of us whispering goodnight, kissing it on the forehead, closing the door.
It was such a strange, beautiful, peaceful image, and that’s when I knew he was the one.
Living with BPD, anxiety, and depression is still not easy. Some days are still heavy. But Ian has made a huge difference in my life. He embraces my brain the way I learned to in that letter, with compassion, warmth, empathy, love, and tenderness. That, to me, is what a healthy relationship feels like.
For years, I had been in toxic and abusive relationships. Ian showed me what true, deep, steady love looks like.
If you’re in a relationship that keeps your nervous system on edge, one that makes you feel unsafe, uncertain, or not good enough, please remember: the love you deserve exists. It finds you the moment you begin to protect your peace, honor your values, and prioritize your mental health.
It sounds cliché, but it’s true: real love arrives when you least expect it, when you’ve finally started loving yourself enough to stop settling for pain.
If you’re struggling right now, please remember: you don’t have to face it alone. Talk to someone you trust. Reach out to a friend, a therapist, or even a hotline, I know that one can feel especially hard, but I did it once after one of my worst suicide attempts, and I can honestly say they saved my life. Even a stranger who listens with kindness can make a difference. Asking for help doesn’t make you weak; it’s one of the bravest things you can do. We’re all just human, learning how to hold our pain with a little more love each day. And you deserve to be here to see how your story unfolds.
With love,
Regina Zuniga
The Skin Deep Digital Content Specialist
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