Beyond the Rock: Questioning the Myth of the Unbreakable Mother
Mothers, you don't have to be unbreakable. From unspoken expectations to the courage of speaking up, this Mother's Day, let's embrace vulnerability as a profound strength. Your voice, your tears, matter.
It’s almost Mother’s Day, and a thought has been lingering with me. A recent family emergency prompted a profound re-evaluation of my mother’s role in my life, leading me to ask: why the need for this unwavering "strength" she projects? Why the struggle with vulnerability? I can count on one hand the times I’ve witnessed her cry. Is this ingrained in her personality, or is it a pervasive motherly concept – the expectation to be our unyielding rocks, unable to show "weakness" because of their responsibility for us?
This question has echoed in my mind for years, and I’ve often wondered about its origins: generational norms, cultural expectations, or simply individual traits. Interestingly, the mother figures who have profoundly shaped me share this very characteristic: an undeniable strength. Four women, in particular, stand out as pillars of respect, love, and admiration in my life: my mother, Azucena; her sister, Dinora; my father’s sister, Betty; and Melinda, my exchange student mother from a decade ago.
These four mothers are united by their toughness. While this admirable trait has undoubtedly inspired my own resilience and persistence, fostering a stronger spirit within me, I do believe that, at times, this very strength can inadvertently hinder the growth of another young woman.
Although my time with Melinda wasn’t long enough to fully understand her life story, my mother, Dinora, and Betty share two other interconnected traits that seem to stem from this perceived need for unwavering strength: silence and a tendency towards acceptance – perhaps not outright "conformity" in its strongest sense. My English sometimes falls short, and I search for the precise word. While they ultimately stood against what was wrong, their journey to that point often took years.
Please understand, this isn't a judgment. My intention is simply this: women, you do not have to endure anything that violates your values, beliefs, or, most importantly, your physical or psychological safety. You can leave, you can speak up, you can take action.
I honestly don’t know the reasons behind the choices they made to endure – whether it was for their children, a fear of appearing "weak" by "complaining," societal expectations placed upon women in their relationships, or simply fear itself. The depth of their decisions remains unknown to me. Yet, even without complete understanding, I feel compelled to reassure them: YOU COME FIRST! Your well-being should be your priority. Having navigated an abusive relationship myself, I understand the mistake of staying too long, the weight of enduring what goes against your very being.
And please hear me clearly: when I speak of these beloved mothers, I'm not solely referring to abusive or toxic relationships. I mean everything they keep silent about in the name of "strength."
Women, mothers, you don’t have to remain silent. Voice your concerns, your pain, your fears. Cry. Allow your body to express what it needs without shame or fear. Your children, trust me, will thank you for this in the future.
In a pledge to embrace motherly vulnerability, I want to share this playlist with you – a collection of profound and meaningful conversations with mothers around the world. My hope is that it inspires you to embrace your own vulnerability, recognizing that it is not a weakness, but a source of profound connection and authenticity.
Motherhood conversations playlist from The Skin Deep
I encourage you to engage in the difficult yet necessary conversations with your partners, your children, your family, and your friends. Open communication and active listening can be incredibly healing amidst the challenging journey of motherhood. You don't need to maintain a facade of unwavering strength for anyone.
Finally, I’d like to share these tools with you: card games designed to facilitate meaningful conversations with your loved ones, conversations that can lay the groundwork for a healthier, safer, and more loving home.
ML
Mothers Day Collection card games to deepen your relationships and have deep conversations!
And so, as Mother's Day approaches, let us gently release the myth of the stoic, unbreakable mother. Let us acknowledge the quiet battles fought, the unspoken sacrifices made, and the strength it truly takes to be vulnerable. For in those tears shed, in those fears voiced, and in those truths shared, lies a deeper, more authentic form of maternal strength – a strength rooted in honesty, resilience, and the courage to be fully human. May this Mother's Day be a reminder that true strength isn't about withholding our emotions, but about embracing them, for ourselves and for the generations who watch and learn from our example. You are seen, you are valued, and your vulnerability is a testament to your profound and enduring love.
With love, Regina Zuniga
The Skin Deep Digital Content Specialist
