Against All Odds: Why Long Distance Was the Best Thing That Happened to Me
Long distance love isn’t for the faint of heart—but it taught me everything about trust, communication, and real intimacy. From heartbreak to a healthy, lasting marriage, here’s how distance helped us grow closer—and how it might do the same for you.
Most people say that long-distance love is a waste of time and energy. But I’m here to tell you they’re wrong. For me, long distance love turned out to be the best thing that ever happened to me.
I met Ian while I was on vacation visiting my sister on an island near Cancún, Mexico. He was visiting his dad in Mérida for his birthday, but on a whim, they decided to take a day trip to that same island—just for fun. Meanwhile, I happened to be babysitting my sister’s dog, Ellie, while she was at work. Ellie and I were walking around, sweating our asses off and browsing the tiny local shops when I suddenly heard “Lady” by Mojo playing from a beach bar my sister and I had visited the night before.
I hesitated—drinking alone felt a little indulgent—but I was on vacation, with a furry friend by my side, and the vibes were right. So I ordered a Piña Colada and settled in to enjoy the song.
Next thing I know, this super cute blond guy shyly approaches the bar. We started talking. I asked for his number. The rest? History. We never stopped talking after that. A month later, I was visiting him in the U.S. By New Year’s, he was in Mexico meeting my parents. Love blossomed—easily, healthily, mutually, almost like a fairy tale.
But this wasn’t my first long-distance relationship.
A year earlier, I had been in a long-distance relationship with someone else from the U.S.—and it turned into a nightmare. He ended up being emotionally abusive, unstable, and I eventually found myself in a situation where I feared for my safety and my life. It left a scar that took time and therapy to process. And yet, looking back now—happily married years later—I realize how much that experience taught me.
It showed me my own strength. It reminded me how patient and forgiving I am. It made me realize how deeply I care, not just for others, but for myself. That relationship broke me open in all the ways I needed in order to put myself back together better. The worst relationship of my life turned out to be the one that taught me how to love myself.
So even though one experience was traumatizing, I didn’t let it define my belief in love. When Ian came along, I kept my heart open. I trusted myself. I jumped in, headfirst. Some people might call that reckless or naïve—but love has always been worth the risk for me. And I believe it’s the reason we’re here: to love, to be loved, and to let ourselves be transformed by it.
Long distance taught us more than we ever imagined. Now that we’re married, we recognize how rare and special our bond is—and others see it too. We’re one of the happiest, healthiest, most respectful and loving couples we know. Not because we’re perfect (we’re not—we argue like everyone else), but because we learned how to navigate conflict with care, patience, and love. Long distance was our greatest teacher.
Here are the most valuable lessons I learned:
1. Communication is everything.
When distance is involved, talking is all you’ve got—and that’s a gift. If your connection is real, it will thrive on words, not just touch. From bad days to career wins to late-night cravings and deep desires, you learn to share everything. That creates the most solid foundation you can have in a long-term relationship.
2. Trust or bust.
Without trust, a long-distance relationship will drain the life out of you. I’ve been there, and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. But when trust is mutual and strong, it becomes a powerful glue that holds you together across time zones and oceans.
3. Creativity keeps the spark alive.
Ian and I got wildly creative—online games, shared photo journals, trivia, binge-watching shows, virtual date nights where we cooked and got tipsy “together.” Not only was it fun, but it created beautiful, unforgettable memories. Creativity builds connection.
4. Patience pays off.
As someone who’s naturally impatient, this one was hard. But waiting taught me that the first hug, the first kiss after months apart—they’re priceless. All that longing builds a deeper kind of love, one you truly savor.
5. Intimacy isn’t just physical.
We had some of our rawest, most vulnerable moments on the phone. Talking about hard memories. Crying in the dark. Learning each other from the inside out. That emotional intimacy built a friendship—and trust—that grounds our relationship today.
I could’ve closed my heart after that horrible first experience. Most people would have. But I stayed open. I stayed hopeful. I believed in love. And because of that, I found the man of my dreams—at first in a completely inconvenient, uncomfortable way. But it was all worth it. Now we’re living a life younger Ian and Regina could’ve only dreamed of.
During the time Ian and I were long-distance, I was also finishing my thesis project at college. And, after researching with The Skin Deep’s beautiful and brave audience, I created something called the Long Distance Love Toolkit – Closer Together While Far Apart. It’s a digital experience designed to help couples like us: couples who can see a future together but are separated by distance. Brave souls who believe in love. Ian and I used it ourselves—and it sparked some of the best conversations we ever had. We laughed, we cried, we connected deeply. And fun fact? That toolkit helped me graduate with honors. (You can try it too—use the code LDLTSD20 for 20% off. Only one use per customer. Offer valid through June 30).
So if you’re in a long-distance relationship and it feels healthy, exciting, and right—don’t give up. Your future self will thank you.
Regina Zuniga
The Skin Deep Digital Content Specialist
